未品•崖

在寒冷的午夜，泡上一碗热腾腾的面，仅凭碗中那袅袅而起的热气，就足以给人满足和温暖的感觉了。之前在网上瞎逛，偶见某人在帖子谈到容易发胖的几样食物，其中就包括方便面。好熟悉的字眼啊。正值饥寒交迫之际，想起冰箱里明明还储存着几包李同学推荐的“老谭酸菜”呢，怎能放过？方便面虽属垃圾食品，高热量高脂肪。其实也很好嘛，在这漫漫冬季里，长点脂肪有助于抵御严寒。说起方便面的吃法，当然以“煮”为佳，经沸水煮出的面才劲道，够味。于是，到厨房，点灯，刷锅，放水，放面，盖锅，点火……

如此场景，不禁想起了难以忘怀的本科时深夜吃煮方便面的那段日子。那时，不管是因游戏还是学业，大伙儿睡得都很晚，到第二天再上床睡都是很正常。因此，每天夜宵之事总是让人操心。虽然后街的夜生活很丰富，小吃品种繁多，店铺也不少。但寒冷的冬夜，宅男族们总是懒得劳驾他们的大腿，所以泡面总是大家首选的最简便省事的解决饥饿问题的方法。可问题是开水往往也忘了打啊，所以总是有一顿没一顿的。但近期发觉楼道里飘出来的方便面香气胜于往日，特别的纯厚和延绵，还夹杂着些许蛋香。后来得知，原来是宿舍楼的阿姨夫妇做起煮方便面的生意来。并且，阿姨开的价格也不贵，加蛋2元一碗，不加1元一碗。虽然面就是那种很普通很便宜的方便面，不过鸡蛋倒还是货真价实。那段时间，到了晚上10点之后，只要拿上你的碗和票子，在楼道内小走几十米，动笔登记一下寝室号。过一小段时间，阿姨就会亲自将煮好的面送过来。太好的服务了。寒夜里，饥饿中，可以吃上这样热腾腾的煮出来的加蛋的方便面，怎一个爽字了得？！再后来，美名流传出来，他们的生意渐渐就火了。原来只有一楼，现在整栋楼的兄弟们都知道了。只是可惜了其他楼的，由于宿舍楼大门关得早，进出也比较麻烦，他们只能望洋兴叹了，哈哈。但由于锅炉有限，人员有限，面也有限，后来过去放碗登记的人都要排起队来了，有时候还未必吃得上。现在想来，那些场景还依稀如初，那面的味道是如此回味。难忘啊。。

最近一段时间，在李同学的带动下，本人发挥了南方人吃面食的有限潜力。除了自家边上的兰州拉面馆经常光顾，还连公司食堂的馒头、拉面、刀削面、饺子等等，都频繁涉猎。并且，发觉自己真是喜欢上面食。难道是因为很小时候在山西呆过一段日子的潜在作用？因为也喜欢吃醋呢。其实说起来，小时候特别不喜欢这种“麦面”（相对于米做的“面”，老家也称“面”，其实就是米线或米粉之类的），只喜欢米系列。后来到了长沙，学校后街由东北人开的饺子馆和河南人开的面馆，特别多。早上没课且起来晚了的时候，经常跑去吃。现在想起来，那时真是吃了太多的饺子。来上海之后，又被学校清真食堂的“大盘鸡盖浇面”迷上了。那面那味道，堪称经典啊。后来去吃得多了，一起吃饭的同实验室的哥们，都持反对意见来，“怎么又去吃这个盖浇面？!”很快，学校的同道中人渐渐增多，这面就畅销而供不应求，来晚了就没有了。这些也是怀念得很。。

身为一个南方人，却喜欢吃面，可能少见。吃的方面，自在外面这么多地方生活过，自己的口味就变得很杂了。但老家的以鲜为主的清淡口味，竟还能轻松适应，看来没忘本，哈哈。面食虽好，不过方便面还是少吃为妙。

                                                                                                         ——by未品崖，于12/05/2008深夜

An isolated but beautiful island, a group of people survived from an airdisaster accident, a team of armed strangers from the outer world, a conflict even combat by resistance against invasion, or by accident against intention, among these survivals, the existed tribe lived on the island, and the foreigners during which some mysterious phenomena occurred often, yeah, which is the very fictive scenario from <Lost>. Does the real self be updated or still held when back from lost status after undergoing several months' primitive life? Having found out what his/her eternal quest is or being lost again when facing the human society?

It is rather ridiculous and fabulous, with not many products printed by modern civilization, no complicated social relationship, no job, no car, no building, even no money, and so forth, all of such indispensable parts composed the real and habitual life of one person, thus he would feel lost suddenly, just as everything becomes the air, which could not be touched by eyes and hands any more. The feeling seems like that of the sudden stop while revolving round and round, because the direction is lost. Moreover, there comes some doubts that what's the meaning and intent through day-after-night work and living. For family? For self? For society? Or just for the life itself that came from the God? It seems the head gets much clearer so as to pursue the process and destination of life. Actully, since there is no bright future temporarily, the memories of those unforgettable past events turn into the underlay for present life, which even would keep going along in a fantastic form from some unfinished will committed before.

Perhaps if only basic requirements are fulfilled, the agreeable ordinary life is really satisfied, it comes all. Need to escape from this "encircled city", the island, to another "encircled city"? If sure, but lost the way, actually no feasible way at all, so just be waiting. "If there exists hope, even tiny, you must keep it and just do it" said by Hugo's dad to him, yeah, keep pursuing your belief even lost in the island. Hope does be the strength, especially after experiencing so many despairs. For you or me, there always exists a strength to pull you to progress and another one like engine to push you from back and inside. It's really easy to lost the way when no power to pull you any more. So don't lean on the outer wholly, keep the direction after you get who you are, what you pursue during the whole life, and make the engine inside of you more powerful to propel you to challenge your confusion and retreat, maybe this travel of lost island would be a suitable journey for self-discovery.

Hegel said, "What is rational is actual and what is actual is rational." There is no suspicion over the significance of existance, which will get insensitive and unconcerned gradually. But when the actual is lost, the world would become irrational? No, lost yourself in your deeper mind, for the implicit basis is gone, meanwhile the world keeps rational just goes as what was before. In <Lost>, Jack's stubbornness and sense of responsibility promotes but he is still lost himself when facing affectional problems, to be a sot just as the former him before the island experience, it seems pretty hard. So how to not be lost again?

"I never feared darkness coming near
Now I don't know why I behold the sky
To find the brightest star
With its brilliant light
So I pray to thee, will you shine on me?"  ——Iridio, <Night Prayer>

                                                                         ——by Winston Yang @10/30/2008

More and more true feeling of depession, has been to bring me into an unhappy status, more deeply. No interest to do anything, moreover there is nothing could make me happy, more like that it ultimately does't exist any happy thing for me no matter at past, at now or in future. My spirit or heart is really frangible theoretically speaking, just like glass, though transparent and solid, no expansibility, no retractility, no flexibility, more substantiality and with unique veins in essence. Need to change the life style to the direction of more energy and sunshine, as well as more sports and the enjoyment after it. It could be better.

It's easy to judge whether you are pursuing depression nothing more than from the transformation of your appetite, mood and weight. You know yourself, give more carement to yourself, make yourself more happy. Do not more blame yourself, do not think into something bad and bitter especially. You assuredly know that everything from your life is just a temporary scenery during the period from your birth to death, so beautiful and so amazing, including that of the earth and universe, like the falling-star from there to here, or here to there, knowing the ultimate result to tomb but falling with degage pose so freely as it is still at beginning, so enjoying the process of life is enough as what is doing with each type of life in the world.

Wish or hope, even dream, nobody except you would really understand it until you end your life. It will be better.

“轻轻的我走了，正如我轻轻的来”。几天前刚开过的毕业典礼，用周兄的话说是“最后一次毕业典礼，怎么也要去！”是的，我也去了。毫无意外，典礼是热闹的，喜庆的，并值得回忆的。作为一段历程的终点，庆祝形式如何倒次要，于其是否有所感悟，有些体会，倒值得花点时间回顾一下。如何走过这段路程，是惊天动地也好，是默默无闻也罢；是劳苦功高也好，是碌碌无为也罢。这都值得回味的，毕竟曾经走过。不短的岁月里，一起相知相守的我们，共同品尝了成长的甜蜜与忧愁。事实上，更多的是平淡吧，犹如那加了点白糖的白开水，淡中有味。淡淡的离愁别绪，依稀如初，再次体味，仿佛被惊扰的睡梦，意犹未尽。呵呵，其实很多年前的那次离别强烈得有些孩子气了，大家真的都很脆弱，能痛快淋漓地渲泄真挚而厚重的情感，很是过瘾。现在不同了。

走进会场，就发现很多生疏的面孔，他们脸上同样洋溢着欣喜和激动，不亚于场上真正的主角。看见这些幸福的脸庞，我想到了一个词：分享。“独乐乐不如众乐乐”。这真是很富有人情味的一幕，让亲人朋友同享收获的快乐与幸福，就是对他们付出的最大认同与回报。也许，只有分享了的喜悦才是最喜悦的。这种被融化了的感觉，能弥漫整个身心。会场里，萦绕着《毕业生》的旋律，带来了浓郁的毕业气息，示意着这群人要毕业了。哼着这悠扬而有些许伤感的曲调，看着大伙儿交头接耳聊得很是起劲，也不顾台上老师领导的激扬文字，自己的思绪渐渐涌上心头，变得模糊了。此时的感觉是复杂的、交错的，有些莫可名状。兴奋？伤感？留恋？洒脱？总之，抹不去有关这段岁月、这群人们和这畔校园的回忆，难得结缘嘛。终于要告别这一切了，哪怕多个形式也好。

瞧会场里，这厚实又气派的学位服在身上穿着，这棱角分明的学位帽在头上戴着的人们，在简单而意蕴深远的“拨穗”动作之后，宣告“正式”加入了硕士行列。嗯，也宣告着又一个三年过去了。岁月沉淀下来的友情和激情，带来了相聚的快乐，也更能显出离别的愁绪。其实这气氛真的很淡，不过细微处见真情，无声中显深情。大家都埋在心里罢了。一次又一次的毕业，伴随着的是人的渐渐成长，渐渐老去，和渐渐世俗。不论心中的那些花儿是否依旧灿烂美丽，那片“挪威森林”是否依然纯净如初，那伙儿时的玩伴是否记忆犹新，愈发清晰和深刻的唯有这岁月的印痕。

整个聚会中，现在还依然细细品味的是左兄的那句问话，“你是喜欢这所学校多一点，还是本科的学校多些？”那时我犹豫了一下，最后给出的选择是本科的。刚入学时，倘若有人问起这个问题，我绝不会犹豫，而会斩钉截铁地如是回答。当然那时这个问题并无实际意义。总体而言，之所以更怀念本科时光，是在于那段青春、那些激情、那片懵懂以及那点梦想。再仔细分析一下，还有这些原因吧。一是“初恋”的感觉。这种母校情感可能犹如男女间的恋爱吧，第一次总是如此迷人与不舍，哪怕其中波折不少，跌宕多多，也是弥足珍贵的。不可否认，每个人都有初恋情怀。二是集体认同感和荣誉感。每片校园自有各的特色，所营造的氛围和散发的凝聚力，总会感染身在其中的每一员。一张白纸被涂抹上形形色色，就成了那点符号和色彩。三是有关青春的记忆。那座山、那方水和那片草，有青春相伴，就是生命中最美丽的。有谓青春无悔，走过了，也就够了。要学得洒脱一点，但青春的色彩最夺目了，怎能忘却？四年过去了，三年也过去了。蹉跎岁月里，带走了时间，甚至还有未来？不得而知

最后，借用志摩的诗句结个尾，“道一声珍重，道一声珍重，那一声珍重里有蜜甜的忧愁。沙扬娜拉！”

                                                                       ——by未品崖，于07/09/2008夜      

“梅雨”没雨？可偏偏梅雨时节最不缺乏的就是来自天空的绵绵细雨，小时候常常对这个名词费解不已。这尚余留些春天气息，并伴随着“雨纷纷”的清明还是过去了。阵阵夏雷中，同样是雨不断的梅雨又一次被唤醒来到了尘世。其实雨是如此的纯粹和洒脱，无拘束地撒落下来。只因它们承受得太重太多了，所以何不潇洒一点，远离那个被风呼来唤去从而飘摇不定的是非之地？“高处不胜寒”啊，大地母亲在日光的照晒下可是温暖了，还是飞到人间来逛逛吧。轻灵的魂魄，幻玄的身姿，美妙的模样，在堕落红尘过程中化作了一滴一滴晶莹剔透的雨珠。又在大地的怀抱之下融合在一起，你中有我，我中有你，好不亲密，羡煞人们。于是，地上简直就成了雨水的世界，从而初夏的闷热和烦躁被无情地浇散和驱逐掉，带来的是清新和凉爽。哇，清凉！可凉了一下，却冒得清凉一夏。所以还是珍惜吧！

这个季节，以前总是要吃杨梅的，浙南的杨梅一直是那么酸甜可口。可自远离家乡后，这时分往往正奋斗在校园的某个角落，或在去往的路上。刚刚告别校园的今年，难得放了端午的假，也正好回了趟家，所以温习了这久违的味道。还是那种充满汁水的酸甜刺激滋味，不错。梅雨梅雨，要是天空都下真正的“梅”雨，那这世界可真要酸死了，不过也会衬托出甜的滋润。古人的智慧总是直接来自生活经验，那么自然，那么纯真。

属于这个季节的回忆，向来有种惆怅的意味，“雨”不醉人人自醉，总会勾起那么多。多情，多愁，多思，这正符合雨的气息。看着这些轻盈跳动的精灵，不近距离感受一下岂不可惜？那就来个“A Walk in the Rain”。雨中漫步，总是一件有那么点点情调意蕴和浪漫色彩的事情，当然打上伞就俗了些。幻想着这些饱满晶莹的生灵洗净了心灵种种的低落和悲伤，驱散掉各种阴影和惆怅，岂不美哉？同时，热烈跳动的滚烫的心脏也被冷缩一下，不禁打个寒颤，身体也不由地跟着抖动了一下，于是感觉更自在了。那些人在细细品味这一切呢。

几千年前的屈原，跳汨罗江也是在一个如此雨丝绵绵，“剪不断理还乱”的天气吧。这雨天显然是和天堂最近距离的时候了，条条雨帘不就从天堂垂下来的？可也只有屈原这样，拥有轻盈般浮于俗世红尘的性灵，才能够攀得上。雨帘俨然就是一副副天梯，汨罗江是它们落足的基地。这是毅然断绝尘世的勇气和胆识，无奈惆怅却又有种解脱时的淡然和超脱，“众人独醉我独醒”。“滚吧，你这堕落的俗世”，纵身一跃，成就了千古佳话，历史也永远定格在那一瞬。

时空的转移，不变的是依然分明和多情的天气。“是离愁，别是一番滋味在心头”。

                                                                                 ——by未品崖，于06/10/2008晚